-
Your
last name stays put.
-
The
garage is all yours.
-
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-
Chocolate is just another snack.
-
You
can be President.
-
You
can never be pregnant.
-
You
can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
-
You
can wear NO shirt to a water park.
-
Car
mechanics tell you the truth.
-
The
world is your urinal.
-
You
never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
is just too icky.
-
You
don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
-
Same
work, more pay.
-
Wrinkles add character.
-
Wedding dress $5000.
-
Tux
rental-$100.
-
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
-
The
occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-
New
shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-
One
mood all the time.
-
Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-
You
know stuff about tanks.
-
A
five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-
You
can open all your own jars.
-
You
get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-
If
someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
-
Your
underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
-
Three
pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-
You
almost never have strap problems in public.
-
You
are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
-
Everything on your face stays its original color.
-
The
same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
-
You
only have to shave your face and neck.
-
You
can play with toys all your life.
-
Your
belly usually hides your big hips.
-
One
wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
-
You
can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
-
You
can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
-
You
have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
-
You
can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
minutes.
